Does It Have to Feel This Way?
Posted on August 26, 2010
I am strong. I am very, very strong. I guess there must be a reason some of my relatives dubbed me the Iron Lady [yep, and I found out just recently]. But as I was packing tonight and saw my Mom’s lovely face ache with concern, seeing that she does not want us to go, my heart shattered into a million little pieces. Yes, Mom, I am leaving… again. And, yes, my heart it torn and I want to run up to you and squeeze you so hard and never let you go. I want to hold you in my arms and thank you for every breath of happy childhood, for the great example you have been to me, for being my hero and my model. I wanted to be just like you growing up, and now that I am grown I find that I have become what I wanted–just like you in so many ways. And it hurts, oh so deeply, to think that I will miss out on moments of your life and my time with you… but I have to go. I love you. I will hold you tight, but I shall not worry you with my tears. I will hide them, as long as I can, and say a prayer, asking God to glue my heart back together gently. I don’t mind the cracks in it, I don’t want it to be perfect, but I do want it to my just like yours.
How can I not ache looking at this majestic and lovely face?
Always thinking about us, always wanting to take care of us… even when you can no longer endure standing on your feet for long…
What would I be without you? My love, my hero, my Mother! I shall miss you so ever much…
